Getting Along In Church

It seems to me that a short verse by Paul is packed with insights for congregational life.

In Romans 12:18 the Apostle writes "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone."

In a day of church tensions, divisions, fractures, and splits this old text is particularly relevant.

For one thing, it reminds us that God is interested in our relationships. This statement is a command, not a suggestion, and it was written at the Holy Spirit's inspiration. God Himself exists in beautiful relational intimacy and mutuality in the Trinity and models for us the unity that should be found in our connections with fellow believers. Some Christians appear to think that God is only concerned with how we worship or whether we tithe or if we fill a slot of service in the organization of the fellowship. They don't realize that the Lord is intensely interested in how we get along with one another in the body of Christ.

Anger, quarreling, resentment, gossip, backbiting, and negativity among the saints all grieve the Holy Spirit. He longs for there to be peace, joy, harmony, and patience in our churches.

This verse hints that occasionally we need to be willing to make compromises and concessions. We certainly must become better listeners. Learning to forgive is paramount. Doing the sometimes hard task of working through issues and negotiating and discussing and praying until resolution is reached is absolutely crucial. Regrettably, so many church members nowadays want to hop off to another congregation at the first sign of a problem or a difference of opinion rather than hanging in there and sticking with a matter until a solution is discovered. They miss the faith-building, maturity-developing process of intense interaction with other Christians in conflict management by walking away and linking up with some other local fellowship that probably has just as many unsettled issues. Getting rid of a pastor or dropping out of church or sitting on the sidelines taking shots at those who are committed to dealing with crises and conflicts doesn't really accomplish anything and just contributes to greater tensions within the congregation. It just prolongs the anxiety.

It's time we all grow up.

Paul isn't sugar-coating the truth here, though. He offers a realistic view. Sometimes we will work feverishly for peace and unity and will not get cooperation from the other side. We do still live in a fallen world. We are part of a movement that Satan likes to torment and would love to defeat. As friendly and as kind as we may be, not everyone is going to like us. You can't please everybody. Some in your church not only may not want to be close to you but may actually enjoy being at odds with you. If you have to have everybody's approval to feel good about yourself, you're in for a rough ride. If you're a people-pleaser, understand that the apostle is conceding in our text that it's probably not accurate to think that you can make everybody happy. Live humbly, graciously, truthfully, and openly but realize that regardless of your efforts to labor for progress or to work for reconciliation or to demonstrate a godly lifestyle there will probably always be some who just won't accept you or agree with you.

Our mandate in these days is to do everything we can in our congregations and homes and neighborhoods to show forth the Kingdom way of life as salt and light and to illustrate that relationships can be lived on a much higher plane than what we see in the world around us.