Bedroom Redecorating

When in Rome, do as the Romans do. Don't count your chickens before they hatch. God helps those who help themselves. Don't burn your bridges behind you.

These and hundreds of other popular cliches and sayings are spoken in everyday conversation to wittily make points.

In my pulpit ministry this summer I've been bringing messages on several of those clever phrases and slogans and expressions. We've been taking a look at them through a scriptural lens, examining them with a biblical worldview to see if they offer anything in the way of truth or if they are just catchy statements used to spice up routine chats.

The other Sunday we put this oft-used saying under the microscope: You've made your bed, now lie in it. Apparently first recorded back in the late 1500's, this trite cliche seems to be a critical, sarcastic way of telling an individual that he must put up with the unpleasant results or effects of a foolish decision made or action taken.

Is it wise or helpful to speak these words to someone who has just made a mistake or a mess?

Well, actions do have consequences.Galatians 6:7-8 makes that clear.King David in the Old Testament learned this the hard way after his sexual sin with Bathsheba. Even though he got God's forgiveness for the heinous act, he had to live the rest of his life with the devastating personal and familial aftereffects of his wrong choice. Sometimes in the passion and recklessness of youth our kids don't see that their deeds have longterm effects. We adults have to help them connect the dots. And we have to be reminded of the same lesson ourselves. Regardless of whether it's an adulterous affair or overeating or smoking or abusing drugs or gossipping or playing around in school and not studying, our actions will produce unintended negative results. Mark it down.

However, it may not be the best or most useful thing to condescendingly, condemningly exclaim this expression to a person who has bungled something or blundered in a big way. Our words have tremendous power. People who stumble or who flubb up need hope and redirection, not caustic barbs. Judgemental statements may actually harden and seal them in their poor behavior. Verses like Proverbs 12:18 and 15:23 and 18:21 suggest that with our tongues we can either wound and bruise and cripple or refresh and encourage and inspire. As Christians our homes and churches should be "grace places" where people who have floundered and failed know they'll be loved, accepted, picked back up, and pointed to a better path. Flippantly uttering this cold, heartless cliche to an individual who botched it only sentences him to regret and stagnation. We just leave our hurting friends in ditches when we blurt out that phrase in our frustration or exasperation at their actions. Many an adult still lives under the burden and curse of hearing "You'll never amount to anything" or "I wish you'd never been born" shouted at them in childhood.

It needs to be understood, too, that sometimes our beds are made for us.

There is such a thing as generational sin, patterns and practices that get passed down in families. It's possible to be predisposed to bad choices as a result of growing up in a dysfunctional home. Anger or alcoholism or laziness or abuse in a family tree can be transmitted through several generations. God seems to address this in Exodus 20:5-6. The patriarchs of Genesis could tell us about how parental favoritism and sibling rivalry, for example, kept cropping up in succeeding eras until finally Joseph broke the cycle and halted the downward spiral by forgiving his hateful brothers. His example teaches us that we don't have to be victims or stay stuck in habits or trajectories that we inherited. We can acknowledge, and choose to move out of, harmful patterns and forgive those who handed them down to us, and then go forward in a new, positive direction.

It's hard to imagine Jesus using that cynical slogan. He didn't usually leave people as they were, in their mess. Even when the rich young ruler of Mark 10 ultimately rejected Christ and went his own way, which was a recipe for life failure, Jesus had a heart of tender compassion for him.

Jesus didn't consign the paralyzed men of Mark 2 and John 5 to permanent disability. He healed them. He didn't push away the adulterous woman of John 8 or the frequently divorced woman of John 4 but rather forgave them and offered them a new lease on life. Ditto the despised, cheating tax collector Zaccheus of Luke 19. These persons had no hope or had failed or had sinned miserably but Jesus lifted them instead of spouting off harsh words about their status. The power of salvation in Christ is life-transforming. So says 2 Corinthians 5:17. By placing our faith in Jesus we can be completely changed, despite our past or our failures. Spiritually speaking, we don't have to stay in "bedbug- infested cots".

Of course making the choice to refuse God's freely offered mercy in Christ finds us "making our bed" for an eternity of horrible exclusion from all the wonderful blessings and benefits of knowing the Lord. Revelation 20:15 describes that in stark terms. The uniqueness of Christ for salvation and the exclusivity of the Gospel are ideas hotly debated these days but texts like John 14:6 and Acts 4:12 are hard to refute.

When it comes to making our beds, we all could use a little help.