Vision Correction For Relationships

In my pulpit, over the last few months, I've been preaching a series of messages on popular cliches, sayings, and expressions that we tend to use and overuse in everyday conversation. We've been examining them from a variety of angles through the grid of scripture and a biblical worldview to see if they accurately describe the realities of life.

It's been fun!

I've probably enjoyed preparing and delivering this collection of sermons more than any other in my ministry. Gotten a lot of positive feedback, too. We've considered "when in Rome, do as the Romans do" and "don't count your chickens before they hatch" and "misery loves company" and "don't burn your bridges behind you" and lots more. We've dug into a lot of texts that sometimes support and sometimes refute these clever, catchy phrases.

The other Sunday we put this one under the microscope: love is blind. When folks toss that line into their talk they mean that generally people do not notice the faults of those they love. Well, is that true or false, good or bad? It would seem that it makes a lot of difference in dating and marriage relationships or business partnerships or friendships or church life whether you accept the validity of that cliche or reject it. Does God's Word provide any help here?

I think so.

Scripture does appear to suggest that we are to overlook a lot of stuff. In our dealings with those close to us we shouldn't take up every offense or get bogged down in every issue. Proverbs 10:12 and 19:11 as well as I Peter 4:8 make that clear. Remembering that each of us is fallen, human, and thus not perfect ought to keep us from being irritated at the little mistakes and idiosyncrasies of those around us. The realization that we don't always know what another person's going through can prevent us from getting upset or walking away or lashing out, too. Those we care about might be wrestling and struggling with some painful trial of which we're totally unaware, and their hurt might be behind some of their reactions that we do not understand. We just have to let a lot of things go. We need to be more patient. After all, in any of our relationships it ought to be our goal to build up and encourage the other individual.

It must be said, though, that the broad sweep of biblical counsel urges us to be observant, discerning, and careful in our ties with one another. Surely that's what Paul stressed in Philippians 1:9-10. We're to go into our relationships with our eyes open and probably should avoid making the closest, most intimate alliances with those who pose a danger to us spiritually, emotionally, and physically. It would be a most profitable exercise, for example, to take our children and teens through a crash course in the book of Proverbs, when we talk with them about close pals and dating, to help them observe all the warnings there about certain types of persons with whom they probably shouldn't link up. The foolish the angry, the lazy, the mean, the proud, the alcoholic, the violent, and the one bitterly alienated from his parents are just some of the individuals we should be aware of when it comes to forging our deepest bonds. Their toxicity could spill over onto us. In Genesis 24, Abraham sent his servant Eliezer out to find a bride for his son, Isaac. He gave him very careful instructions as to what to look for and what to avoid. It may be sweet and sentimental to get all caught up in warm, fuzzy, romantic feelings and refuse to see any negatives and potential trouble spots but it is a most unwise practice fraught with dire consequences.

We must not forget, either, that sometimes we have to confront and correct those we love. That's a biblical responsibility given to us in the body of Christ. It's not easy, and never fun, but often out of deep concern for others in the family of faith who may be straying or drifting we have to go to them and gently but firmly draw them back. This is where a grace/truth balance is vital. Proverbs 27:6 and Galatians 6:1 are pretty emphatic about this. We can't overlook or ignore serious sin or error in family or fellow church members but instead must do the difficult and genuinely compassionate work of restoration.

How blessed we believers are, though, that Jesus loves us inspite of our sins. A line from an old Gaither song reminds us that the "One who knows us best loves us most". It's kinda like the Old Testament prophet Hosea. He was fully aware of his wife's despicable adultery and yet chose to buy her back out of slavery and bring her home and shower her with love just as God forgave and loved Israel. According to verses like Romans 5:8 and Psalm 103:12 and Jeremiah 31:34 Jesus came to us completely cognizant of our ugly sin but chose to die in our place, paying our debt, that we might be forgiven and bask in God's love. Even now He knows all of our habits and inclinations and thoughts and even our motives and yet stays in love with us and works in us to gradually change us to be what we ought to be. What a Savior!

All of us probably ought to get our spiritual eyes examined when it comes to appreciating God's love for us and applying our love(2 Corinthians 5:16) to others.