Days Of Our Lives

I know you didn't ask. But just in case you might be interested, allow me to tell you about my best and worst days each week.

What got me thinking about this was something that occurred the other afternoon. Vicki and I were in the grocery store together. I was pushing the shopping cart while she was eagerly and happily and animatedly pulling items off the shelves to purchase. I guess I was listless and somewhat spacey. Finally it got to her, and in the checkout line she asked, "What is the matter?" She thought she had done something to offend me. I blurted out, "It's Saturday. I hate Saturdays. It's my worst day of the week."

I've noticed the feeling for years. Even decades.

I get up on Saturday mornings in a good mood, ready to delight in a day of diversion. But by that afternoon, and as evening approaches, a cloud descends. I'm not kidding. A mild wave of blue and sometimes black rolls in and over me. I don't know whether it's anxiety or depression, but it's dark and real and almost palpable. I get uptight. Fidgety. Restless. Sometimes a heavy sense of loneliness envelopes me. Occasionally there is even the sensation of emptiness. It's all very uncomfortable.

I've tried to figure out where it comes from, what precipitates it. I can't nail it down.

Is it simply a practical response to anticipation of the next day, and my concern over all the details of leading and preaching for which I'll be responsible? That could certainly be part of it. I take my ministry very seriously, and always want to be at my best. Or, is it something emotional, deep in my psyche, that I don't even consciously know about or understand? Maybe some baggage from my past, way back in a childhood that was actually quite happy. Some leftover strands of unpleasant feelings about some forgotten painful event. It's possible. I've wondered, too, if it might be a spiritual attack from the Enemy. After all, he knows that on the following morning I'll be opening up the scriptures and proclaiming Christ, who is the ultimate victor over the devil's evil empire. Surely our foe hates to hear about his defeat and enjoys intimidating those who announce it. He has lots of tools to harry and harass God's servants. Is this what's happening? Could be.

All I know is that I wake up on Sundays and the gloomy vibes are gone and I'm excited about the day and look forward to preachin' and greetin' and lovin' on folks where the church gathers.

My best day? My favorite part of the week? This will surprise you. It's Monday. That's the day most other people hate, but I love it. I thrill at getting back into the routine, the groove, the activity. Sunday afternoons and evenings I unwind and slow down and relax with good books or great music or dinner with friends or a nap. But when Monday morning hits I'm pumped and energized and eager to get into life.

So...pray for me on Saturday nights. Ask the Father to lift the fog. And share my unbounded joy as each new work week begins on Mondays and God gives us a fresh start at sowing seed and spreading light.